Coming soon to a Walmart near you! Camo formal wear: perfect for your prom in the middle of no where. The good news: Your boyfriend wants to share his interests and spend time with you. The bad news: You’re going to spend the day in a tree, shitting in the woods.
You know when people say, “Oh, ________ could wear a burlap sack and make it look good!”? Yeah, kids, burlap is child’s play. What they should say is, “Oh! __________ is so fabulous they could make an shapeless, busy, eye-gouglingly terrible muumuu look adequate!” Now THAT would be a compliment of the finest sort.
I believe it’s time to butcher more songs from your childhood. Today’s selection? The theme from Reading Rainbow! (refresher course for heathens can be found here)
*Ahem* Butterfly on my dress, I can be a quite the mess. Take a look, I’m on the hook, This dress is fugly. Iiiiii can do anythiiiiing. My friends are sad, this dress is bad. This dress is fuglyyyy, this dress is fuuuuugly…